Grobert

 'See also; Grob, Brob, Brobert, Silicate Sucker Three Thousand, Failed son of Wallace.'

Creation of Grobert
Wallace Gregorius was a man fixated on associating his family name to greatness. At early aged he joined the church to work his way to the top. Wallace's greatest vice was that of taking the easy route. If there was a path of less resistance, Wallace took it. This often led to failed efforts and letting his superiors down with lackluster results and utter disasters. Frustrated at the lack of fruit from his lack of labor, Wallace was lured into one of the underground cults that lurk shadowed in the Star Cities promising him greatness for his faith.

Finally performing a feat most thought beyond his capability, Wallace fathered a child with one of the novice priestesses. With Wallace's delusions of grandeur insufferable enough alone, he was ready to bring this new child-gift to the world. His son Robert, however, showed every sign of low intelligence in the book and even made some new entries. It wasn't long before the priestess Jezebel left the family in new pursuits. Years passed and Wallace continued to attempt quick greatness schemes attaining for himself a name for laziness and failure of even more renown than before, never losing faith in the one day everything would change.

When the first day of Fragmenterra dawned he saw a chance above all others where he would shine. "War is when heroes are born!" he thought to himself as he drafted and crafted every scheme and plot his tiny mind could muster. Finally, choosing the most 'seamless' plan of the lot, he sent for his son and asked colleague to help him with preparations and record what happened this fateful day so that it may glow in history books for centuries to come.

With the ritual chamber set up, Wallace was prepared to bring forth a horror with insatiable hunger, one that would fight in the city's defense against the light born elementals. Calling his son forward, he told him frankly, "Now let’s be straightforward Robert, you've been pretty useless up until now and I'm not sure that would ever change without your clever father's vital assistance." Sniffing back a nose full of snot, Robert was used to these insults and thus nodded. "Today, at the age of fourteen, you ascend to become the martyr this city needs. Are you ready my boy?" Robert stood staring at the floor with feet shifting. "I'm scared father." Not looking away from the candles he was stacking Wallace quickly set his boy straight with bolstering words of courage. "Ah, yes but you are scared of everything my quivering leaf of a son.” Pushing Robert into the circle, the last candle was lit and reading an amended chant, Wallace began the ritual.

Knowing that the assaulting enemy was so laden with stained glass, the spell was changed to bring forth a consuming horror from beyond that would crave glass beyond all other substance. As the chamber darkened, candles blew out one by one by a rising mist that swirled like a slow purple tornado around Robert. The runes and glyphs over the floor glowed brighter and brighter as Robert's skin began to change. Speaking for the first time since they commenced, Wallace's colleague Bennett chimed in. "Wasn't he meant to be a sacrifice?" "Yes... I don't know what is happening." Bands of flesh stripped their way off of Robert as his muscles erupted from his skin. Flayed from the inside out, the ever-expanding Robert got bigger and bigger, filling the room as his muscles in turn also ruptured open like swollen sacs. Once the swelling finally ceased, a gore laden yellow/brown giant stood before them if ‘stood’ could be the right terminology. Robert looked like a giant fusion of grub and leech that sat up on one end. Its fat end was plopped on the floor like a base and its thin end towards the ceiling. Every feature about this new creation was changed except his mouth. Retaining human lips and teeth, the aberration before them was a terrifying sight to behold.

Creeping forward, Wallace brought the creature a large heavy dish fresh from the battlefield. Scooped up inside it was debris from an elemental, the corner of a large stained-glass panel half-buried in the sand it fell in. Pseudo-Robert reeled its thin end downwards from the ceiling and planted its human lips deep into the raised dish lapping at it to Wallace's twisted delight. As the bowl became lighter and lighter to hold, Wallace brought it down to observe his success. Much to his disgust, everything was eaten but the stained glass. All the sand was gone and the creature seemed to be searching for more.

"How are you such a pathetic creature! Is that all you do? Eat sand? You're back to where you were two years ago.” At that moment, the creature stopped searching for sand and let out of what must be its rear a giant puff of glass dust. Bennett scoffed heartily. "Fear not Wallace, he doesn't just eat sand, he also farts glitter. That's twice as much as you first thought!" Wallace stood frozen in anger. "I have just sacrificed my Son for this city and all you can do is observe and make jokes?" Wallace turned to his colleague with fists raised ready to no doubt attempt a feeble attack. Ready to be wailed on by the onslaught of spaghetti-arms, Bennett replied. "Of course Wallace. I observe and make jokes because I can do two things at one time. Much unlike your dear son."

Current Whereabouts
Nobody knows much of what became of Wallace and his life's efforts after this stage. Robert, or as he is now referred to by those who have encountered this useless monstrosity 'Grobert', worms through the desert like the giant sand eating, glass dust expelling waste of space that he is. So out of touch with his senses, periods go by where Grobert catches fire, is ridden for long distances by goblins and sampled for edible content by carrion birds to no registered thought.

If you ever think your day a complete waste and you feel useless in your efforts, you are infinitely better than Grobert.